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For decades, scientists have endeavored to resolve the paradox of Pakistani Test cricketer Shahid Afridi, in stubborn and insolent contravention of the laws of physics and biology, refusing to age a day beyond 18 years, 3 months and 21 days ever since his ODI debut on October 2, 1996. Attempts by physicists and mathematicians to [...]

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With the monsoon playing truant with India thus far this year – cumulative rainfall in the country has been 71% below normal and overall storage in reservoirs stands at 57% of last year’s level – The Unreal Times weather team led by chief correspondent, Ebenezer Forecastwalla, caught up with Lord Indra, God of thunder and rain, [...]

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In what is a testament to Hinduism’s assimilative capacity, the elusive Higgs-Boson or God particle has been admitted as a full fledged God into the Hindu pantheon and a temple in His honor has been built in Tamil Nadu’s Kancheepuram district. Confirming the development, Swami Vajranand Sarwasti, head of the decade old Higgs-Boson consciousness sect [...]

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Today (July 4, 2012), scientists from CERN in Europe announced that they may have found clear signs of a particle which is thought to be the Higgs boson, popularly known as the God particle. The hardworking scientists aren’t getting ahead of themselves, and are not quite confirming the existence of the Higgs boson outright. They’ve [...]

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In an innovative and radical twist, which promises to generate more controversy, HRD Minister Kapil Sibal has called for combining even larger groups of examinations into one. “First, we combined all other engineering examinations with IIT-JEE. Now, we’ll take this a major step further by combining this with all other exams such as eye exams, [...]

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In a stunning repudiation of the popular perception that he is merely a former Test cricketer turned utterly superficial and platitudinous commentator, Ravi Shastri has been nominated for this year’s Nobel Prize, for his yeoman service to science by profoundly influencing rarefied and esoteric disciplines such as linguistics, artificial intelligence, computer programming, philosophy, robotics (and [...]

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Prominent Cambridge based physical chemist, Stephen Rocking, has used reliable radio-carbon dating technology to establish Shahid Afridi’s age with scientific precision to be 19 years, 4 months, 22 days, and 17 hours. While there is no disputing the veracity of the claim, it has nevertheless raised eyebrows in cricketing circles since it implies that Shahid [...]

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Jonathan Busch, a doctoral student pursuing a dissertation in Quantum Mechanics from University of Michigan’s Department of Extremely Theoretical Physics, was found in what has been described as a ‘highly compromising and objectionable position’ with his thesis advisor Professor Brent Robinson’s wife. Mr. Busch however contends that both his precise position and momentum (in laymen’s [...]

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Scientists at Vellore Institute of Atomic Studies (VIAS), Vellore, have downplayed claims of CERN scientists clocking subatomic particles, neutrinos, travelling faster than the speed of light. “It seems these chaps have never heard of Tamil superstar Rajinikanth and are therefore unnecessarily getting excited about such a trivial phenomenon. Any kid in Tamil Nadu will tell [...]

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