The UnReal Times

After petrol price hike, Tatas, Mallya announce collaboration on hybrid Nano that can run on beer

September 17, 2011 5 Comments

Chairman of Tata Motors, Mr. Ratan Tata, today announced that Tata Motors will soon launch a brand new Nano variant to help people cope with rising petrol prices. The model, titled ‘Nano Talli’ will boast of a hybrid engine, capable of running on petrol as well as beer. In a cheerful address to the media, [...]

Tata Motors forays into luxury car segment with Nano’s premier version

September 12, 2011 2 Comments

Tata Motors is planning to enter the luxury car segment by launching a premier version of the Nano, hitherto called the ‘people’s car’ because of its low price. The Nano Premier, priced at Rs.1 crore, is expected to give stiff competition in the domestic market to similarly priced high end models from the stables of Mercedes Benz [...]

Bill Gates spotted using iPad during field trip to Bihar, Microsoft shares drop 5%

September 9, 2011 1 Comment

Microsoft founder, Bill Gates, was spotted using an iPad to take notes during a field trip to Gularia village in Bihar’s Khagaria district to review projects funded by the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation for the village’s socio-economic development. The software mogul clumsily attempted in vain to conceal the Apple device before prying journalists could [...]

CEO hires McKinsey to formulate personal life strategy: choosing between wife and mistress

September 5, 2011 No Comment

Tom Jenkins, dynamic and charismatic CEO of Fortune 100 company, Sears Roberts, has hired McKinsey to advise him on making an important strategic decision concerning his personal life – that of choosing between his wife and mistress. The Board of Sears Roberts has decided that it is very much in the interest of shareholders that [...]

Apple customizes iPads to suit the needs of political parties

September 1, 2011 2 Comments

Subsequent to a Parliamentary Standing Committee’s recommendation to provide Members of Parliament with iPads, Apple has supplied a set of special iPads customized specifically for the needs of the parliamentarians. The tablets come in vibrant colours and are pre-installed with special applications that would facilitate effective decision making, louder debating and quicker walk-outs. All Congress [...]

Moved by Anna’s anti-graft crusade, Goldman Sachs I-Banker refuses performance bonus, takes pay cut

August 31, 2011 1 Comment

Moved by Team Anna’s anti-corruption crusade, Mumbai based Ajit Deshpande, Vice President of the Investment and Securities Division at Goldman Sachs, has declined his annual performance bonus of Rs.5 crores and has requested that his CTC (cost to company), estimated to be Rs 5 crore per annum, be reduced to that of a Grade B [...]

Transcript: “Times Now” debates the breakdown of talks between the govt. and Team Anna

August 25, 2011 6 Comments

Day 9 of Anna’s fast. Hopes of a breakthrough belied. The talks instead broke down completely with the government allegedly going back on their promises to Team Anna on day 8. Frustrated with the development and rather exhausted from watching Times Now’s 24X7 coverage of the crisis, this writer went to bed with Times Now’s [...]

CNN-IBN’s Sagarika Ghose invites Team Anna, UPA cabinet to settle differences on “Face the Nation”

August 19, 2011 2 Comments

CNN-IBN’s Sagarika Ghose has invited Team Anna and key players of the UPA cabinet (preferably the Prime Minister, the Home Minister Mr. Chidambaram, and the Finance Minister, Pranab da) to thoroughly debate on which version of the Lokpal bill ought to be enacted on her popular and influential TV discussion show “Face the Nation” (FTN). [...]

BCG hires McKinsey to advise it on how to become number 1

August 12, 2011 41 Comments

Strategy consulting major Boston Consulting Group (BCG) announced today that it has hired the services of the world’s number 1 strategy consulting firm McKinsey to advise BCG on how to replace McKinsey as the number 1 strategy consulting firm. “We are sick of being second best. After a rigorous year long internal analysis session that [...]

Press Release: About the controversy surrounding the post titled ‘Manmohan Singham’

August 3, 2011 4 Comments

[This press release is to be treated seriously. This is NOT a regular UnReal post] On 16th July, 2011, The UnReal Times uploaded a post titled “Video: Watch the trailer of ‘Manmohan Singham’ starring Dr. Manmohan Singh”. The video, as those of you who have watched it might remember, had Dr. Manmohan Singh’s face edited [...]